Hey, mumshies! It’s me again, your millennial mother on social media!
It’s normal for a mother to doubt the decisions and second- guess the choices they make every single day. Mom guilt has always been a friend of mine but I’ve learned to overcome this and say goodbye to my old friend. We shouldn’t feel guilty for the decisions we make for our children when we are sure that these were made for their own good. Despite all the support you will get from friends and family, it is still hard not to feel guilty about things during your motherhood journey. Dealing with postpartum hormones, lack of sleep, and guilt can make you decide a couple of things which some people can judge you for.
Here are 5 mommy choices you don’t have to feel guilty about:
1. Breastfeeding vs. Bottle Feeding
When you first find out that you’re pregnant, you will automatically have an idea of what type of mother you want to become. Most women would choose to breastfeed their baby for 6 months or more because of the idea that breastfeeding is the only proper way to nourish a child. If you’re currently a mother, you would have discovered that this is easier said than done.
There are a lot of factors why women cannot continue breastfeeding their newborn but this should not make one feel less of a mother. There is no shame in bottle feeding your baby because this offers nutrition they need when the mother is incapable of having natural breastfeeding routines.
2. The baby- care products you use
My kids did not have the same skin type when they were born so my opinion about baby- care products have varied. My first born had healthy looking skin as a baby and barely had any rashes when switching diapers or soap but this case is not the same with my second born. As early as 1 week after we got home from the hospital, my second born had constant rashes all over his bum area. He was irritable and restless, nights were not as smooth as when I was going through the same nights with my firstborn.
We used different ointments and baby rash creams but the rashes were recurring, so we tried using a different brand of diaper for my son. We started using Pampers and changed his bath soap to Baby Dove and we saw results instantly.
Our baby’s skin is delicate and every experience is different per baby, so don’t be worried if you are not using the same brand that everyone else is using. Do what is best for your baby’s needs and don’t hesitate to try something new.
3. Food choices
At the age of 6 months, your baby will start weening to eating solids. There will be a lot of judgment and criticism on how you prepare your baby’s meal. Ideally, vegetables and fruits are best for the baby’s nutrition but not all babies are the same. Some would feel sick and vomit out mashed carrots while some will resist anything that doesn’t look appealing. Don’t be afraid to experiment and do what you think is best for your baby, whether it is fresh mashed food or store-bought cereal, what matters the most is that your baby is being fed and not left to starve.
4. Screen time
There has been a ton of articles about how screen time can hamper the development of a child, but there are a lot of reasons why mothers still let their kids indulge in screen time. Both of my kids are allowed to watch TV and play with the iPad but I’ve limited their screen time by keeping them entertained with their toys and activities. I am lucky that my kids can entertain themselves using one or two pieces of toys but this is never the case for all homes.
Screen time can be understood in different ways as well. When my eldest son was only 1 year old, he would have one hour screen time in the morning just to give myself quiet time while I finish my breakfast. I felt guilty about this at that time because of all the unsolicited advice other moms give me (they would send me links to articles about screen time- ok!) on how I let my son watch YouTube at such an early age. But for my own sanity, I let him have an hour a day which turned out to be a good thing for my son! My husband and I were shocked when we asked him to identify colors one day and he answered it all right. We weren’t teaching him colors at that time yet because he just started to talk but we were impressed by how much he learned by watching videos online!
In the end, it’s always your choice if you want to limit screen time for your kids as long as you are well aware of its negative effects. I don’t think screen time and playing with the iPad can be all bad, but just like everything else, moderation is the key.
5. Mommy Break
Giving yourself a break can be harder than you think. When you’re a new mom all you think about is how much time you should provide for your newborn. But in reality, every mother needs to take a mommy break, not just from the new baby, but from everything else! Being a mother is the best thing that has happened in my life, but having two crazy boys can be overwhelming! The pressure of being a full-time mother gets to me sometimes and I too need breaks from time to time.
Taking mommy breaks shouldn’t make you feel bad, this is a well-deserved break for every mother. Personally, I see mommy breaks as a recharge button where I can relax and recharge my mommy batteries for another run in the jungle. Keeping yourself sane and well maintained is essential for your sanity.
That’s all for today’s blog! Comment below what you are guilty about as a mother and maybe we can discuss to solve this problem.